Boy Meets Girl, or Tries to..
14 August 2002
Interesting. Who would have thought that two countries whose first language is English could be so different when it comes down to the basic pickup, the prelude to dating in the States. I don't even know anyone who uses the word, dating, in New Zealand.
Someone told me that New York City was predominately populated with women and of the male proportion the majority were gay. (Don't believe everything you hear!). Luckily for me I did not come over to New York to date, it didn't even cross my mind. However, it is almost impossible to avoid being targeted, as lets face it, I am…female.
The Homo sapien approach to dating in New York is somewhat predatory. Not that I have felt like a piece of meat being hunted down…more like a product on a supermarket shelf to be picked up at someone's whim and compared with the other brands of the same product.
Being a New Zealander I am branded as exotic. Yes, I know, hard to believe. My accent with its lack of r's, i.e. my park sounds like pahk to an American ear, (in a moment of pure bullshit I told one guy that in the New Zealand alphabet we did not have the letter r. I hastily assured him I was only kidding, as my conscience couldn't handle the fact that he believed me. Good grief!) and liberal use of kiwi colluquism just adds to this exotic illusion, apparently. I find it kind of funny that anyone thinks my New Zealand accent is sexy!
My experience of pick up lines has been fairly diverse so far in New York. And they have all been as successful as offering someone who only drinks Jack Daniels a Budweiser. Not the best odds! Don't know where they get them from (probably the internet) or more importantly why, but all good for a laugh. I'm assuming they can't be too serious as the cheesiness of the approaches is great fodder for a sitcom!
My personal favourite
(on the cheesiness rating) would have to be:
'You give my eyes a heart attack,' hmmm, how on earth are you expected to respond to that other than laugh? Other lines range from, 'You are so cute'…cute I take it is a compliment but the last time I was referred to as cute, well actually I don't ever recall being called cute…isn't that what you call a kitten? 'You must be a model/actress' (going in for the flattery approach, but lets face it not exactly imaginative, I mean this is New York after all! It's crawling with models and actresses). Then there's always the, let me impress you with what I do lines, 'I'm a Broadway Producer' and 'I work on Wall St' being fairly common. To straight out, 'You are the most beautiful girl I have ever met' (righto mate) and 'Will you marry me?' (I call that the Budweiser approach). And so it goes on. All very amusing, particularly when you see how sincerely the lines are thrown out there and within minutes (if that) of being met. (I have been asked out for dinner by a guy walking past on the street, ten points for audacity zero for success rate! He probably asked ten girls before me and another ten girls after me! The good old numbers game.) Time being the precious commodity it is should not be wasted in any situation obviously!
The energy and speed of New York probably has something to do with this sledgehammer approach whilst the subtle laid back angle would often be missed here I imagine. In the ultimate consumer society that wants instant gratification it appears that generally it is this McDonalds' method that is the choice of many. (It's fast, in your face, you know exactly what you are getting every time, and although it may not be satisfying there are plenty more where that came from).
I didn't know how to deal with how direct American men are to begin with, until I realised it means nothing and it's just the way they (to be fair I'm sure not every American male uses the Fred Flintstone club approach) operate. Although that pick up style is not my cup of tea, I find it intriguing how earnestly they go about it. There are so many unwritten rules that seem to abound in the dating game over here. And as for dating more than one person at once (the most I heard was four at any one time), apart from the concept not appealing at all, who has the time! I can imagine communication would have to be crystal clear if a New Zealander was to date an American! (Otherwise it could be the theme for a new reality TV show…arghhhh!)
I can see I was spoiled in New Zealand. Maybe I was lucky and happened to meet someone who wasn't into the McD's method to dating. We also don't date like in America, the New Zealand approach is very laid back in comparison. At the end of the day it's each to their own…I mean those lines obviously work on some women, why else would so many men in New York try them? I guess that is when what is one woman's ideal will be always be another woman's reject!
Off on a brief holiday in London then back to New York…
(You can also read about what I am up to on www.nzoom.co.nz under entertainment - rant.)
Regards,
romiley
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